Thinking of You
by ms.mahan
Summary: Songfic. Thinking of You by Katy Perry. Edward never comes back. Bella gets married. Try as she might, Bella will never be able to really move on from Edward.


**: i hope you like it. it's my first songfic.**

**i've been wanting to do this one for a while.**

**disclamer: i don't own anything.**

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Bella stood and walked through her silent house. As was custom for her, she was the only one home.

After Edward had left, Bella had spent the rest of high school trying to destroy herself before finally taking his advice.

She had moved on, or the closest thing she could do to moving on.

Bella had gone to college, got married and settled down. She had found someone who loved her, someone to take care of her.

She tried not to compare him to Edward, but no matter what Edward said, she would never love anyone like she did him or forget about him.

**Comparisons are easily done**

**Once you've had a taste of perfection**

Her husband was as perfect as any mortal could be, but as guilty as she felt about it, he was never perfect enough.

He wasn't Edward.

**Like an apple hanging from a tree**

**I picked the ripest one**

**I still got the seed**

Bella had fallen into the role of housewife, spending all her days at home, cooking and cleaning for her husband, trying to make up for not truly loving him.

**You said move on**

**Where do I go**

She had grown used to the feeling of emptiness when she woke up in arms of another man besides Edward.

**I guess second best**

**Is all I will know**

She tried to stop, but constantly found herself imagining Edward was her husband instead.

**Cause when I'm with him**

**I am thinking of you**

**Thinking of you**

She had tried not to imagine marble skin instead of tan.

Tried to not imagine gold eyes instead of blue.

Tried so desperately every night to not call out Edward's name when her husband made love to her.

**What you would do if**

**You were the one**

**Who was spending the night**

**Oh I wish that I**

**Was looking into your eyes**

Bella walked, basket in hand, down the hallway to their bedroom.

She placed the hamper of folded laundry on the bed turned to her dresser.

**You're like an Indian summer**

**In the middle of winter**

She began her usual routine of putting away the neatly folded garments in the drawers.

**Like a hard candy**

**With a surprise center**

**How do I get better**

**Once I've had the best**

Bella had met her husband at the hospital after another injury, he had been the resident doctor who treated her.

She had tentatively agreed to date him, hoping he might be the one to help her move on from Edward.

**You said there's**

**Tons of fish in the water**

**So the waters I will test**

The first time he had kissed her, Bella had cried.

She had forgotten what it was like to be kissed.

**He kissed my lips**

**I taste your mouth**

The first time he had made love to her, she had locked herself in her apartment and bawled her eyes out.

She mourned the loss of her virginity, something she had thought belonged to Edward.

**He pulled me in**

**I was disgusted with myself**

Bella pulled open the top drawer to the armoire, placing her delicates lightly a top the other items in the drawer.

**Cause when I'm with him**

**I am thinking of you**

Something, beneath the negligees and underwear caught her eye.

The corner of something was sticking out in the bottom of the drawer.

**Thinking of you**

**What you would do if**

She pulled out the paper; it was a photograph.

She had almost forgot she had this.

**You were the one**

**Who was spending the night**

She slowly turned the photograph over.

**Oh I wish that I**

**Was looking into...**

Her deep brown eyes were greeted with the lifeless faces of herself and Edward.

Memories assaulted her as she stared at the two of them, walking together with Edward's arm slung over her shoulder.

**You're the best**

**And yes I do regret**

She had gotten the picture from the yearbook staff before Edward had left.

She had hidden it in her underwear drawer much like she found it now.

Figures Edward would be too gentlemanly to look for evidence somewhere that was so private for her.

**How I could let myself**

**Let you go**

Tears sprung to Bella's eyes, try as she might to stop them.

All the wounds of Edward seemed to reopen all at once. She sank to the floor, tears staining the picture in her hands.

**Now the lesson's learned**

**I touched it I was burned**

**Oh I think you should know**

How could she ever think she could love anyone but Edward?

How could she do this to her husband?

How could she be so cruel, so selfish?

It had always been Edward, only Edward.

**Cause when I'm with him**

**I am thinking of you**

Bella stood on shaky legs; she couldn't do this anymore.

**Thinking of you**

**What you would do if**

She stood, grabbing a bag and filling it with clothes.

She grabbed her pursed and put her wallet in the bag.

Bella walked to the desk and took a piece of paper and a pen. She wrote a simple not.

'I'm sorry.'

**You were the one**

**Who was spending the night**

She wiped the tears from her face and started walking towards the door; she had to leave.

**Oh I wish that I**

**Was looking into your eyes**

**Looking into your eyes**

**Looking into your eyes**

**Oh won't you walk through**

She opened the door and shut it behind her, thankful for the quietness of the suburbs they lived in.

There would be no one to see her go.

**And bust in the door**

**And take me away**

**Oh no more mistakes**

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and lifted her head.

Someone was standing on the curb across the street.

Their eyes locked.

Endless gold met warm brown.

**Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...**

**stay....**

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**read and review.**


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